|
Home: C : Clay
Crosse : Biography
Biography (courtesy
of Reunion Records)
It was six years ago that Clay Crosse
began a musical journey that quickly propelled him into
the spotlight. Clay's debut album, My Place Is With You,
introduced his extraordinary voice to an eager audience,
and garnered the attention of the entire Christian music
industry. It was not long into his career before Clay captured
a Dove Award for New Artist of the Year, and subsequent
nominations for Male Vocalist of the Year. While songs
like "I Surrender All" and "My
Place Is With You" provided a solid base for Clay's
success, his first four albums produced no less than eight
#1 singles. Included in that roster are CCM's 1997 Adult
Contemporary Song of the Year, "He Walked A Mile," and
last summer's "I Will Follow Christ," the powerful
collaboration between Clay, Bob Carlisle and BeBe Winans.
Yet even amidst all of the public achievements and success,
Clay shares now of a personal war that he battled internally
for years. It's a struggle that he says took him to the lowest
point in his life, and culminated in 1998 on an airplane
ride that changed his life forever. The experience led him
to the title of his new album, A Different Man, a project
that has become a powerfully true testimonial of this segment
of Clay's journey.
Clay Crosse grew up in Memphis, Tennessee
in a Christian home. He came to know Christ at the age
of 13, and was active in his church all through high school
and college. He married his high school sweetheart, Renna,
at the age of 23, and they now have two daughters. For
all apparent reasons, everything was picture perfect on
the outside—a perfect wife,
a perfect family, a perfect career. But as he looks back
in retrospect, Clay says there has been a consistent stain
buried beneath the outer layers of his life. Clay recalls
being in the fourth or fifth grade when he was first exposed
to pornographic magazines at a friend's house. He recollects
how those images were burned into his mind forever. Over
the course of the next few years in junior high, high school
and college, Clay remembers occasions here and there where
he again came in contact with similar materials. There weren't
many times, but even the small amount of exposure was enough,
Clay says, to leave lasting images that ultimately became
damaging.
"It began to affect the way I looked at women, and
lust began to spill over into my everyday life," Clay
shares. "When I got married, pornography was not a part
of my life, but lust was. I remained outwardly faithful to
Renna, but my thought life was a problem."
Clay remembers how he began to let
harmful things into his marriage. "I was allowing myself to entertain certain
TV shows, movies, magazine articles, music, comedians—not
pornography, but I was certainly pushing the limits. I was
proud to be what I considered an 'open-minded Christian.'
As Christians, we should have some sort of filter system
in our lives, and I had just shut mine off altogether. I
got to a point where these influences, and the lasting images
I had from my past, began to manifest themselves in real
ways in my life." During this time, Clay also began
to struggle with vocal problems. He was not happy with how
he'd been singing, and it was beginning to take its toll. "I
had always thought if all else fails, at least I can sing.
I used to really find strength in my voice, and it had always
been my security. So these problems suddenly grabbed my attention,
and I know now that it was really God trying to speak to
me."
In 1998, on a flight home from Seattle,
Washington, Clay was overcome with conviction about his
life. Having just performed at a chapel service with other
industry peers, Clay felt a true sense of failure. "I
was pretty sure that I'd sung terribly, and it was really
hard for me. I was losing control of my voice, but I realized
that I had lost control of my life as well. My voice had
already been taken from me, and I knew that if I didn't
change, my life as I knew it would also be taken from me.
Looking down from that plane at that moment, I was in complete
misery and regret. I realized I was at my lowest point.
I was a complete failure. At that exact moment, I wouldn't
have cared at all if that plane had crashed right then
and there."
Clay recalls his lyrics to "Sinner's Prayer," a
song on the new album. "Where I've been, I tell you,
you don't want to be. I really mean that," Clay says. "I
wouldn't wish that on anybody. I just wasn't at a peace with
my life."
It was while he was cutting a demo
of "Sinner's Prayer" one
night in Nashville that Clay struggled again with his voice
in the studio. When he finally left the session later in
the evening to meet some friends, he broke down in the car. "Renna
and my friends were there, and they just all just sat in
the car with me to support me. They knew I was upset about
my voice, but I think they all knew that I just was so disappointed
with my life and my morals. I was weak, and I finally had
nowhere else to reach but to reach for Jesus."
The days and months that followed were
hard. Clay sat down with Renna and confessed everything
to her. "That's
when I truly, completely and wholeheartedly rededicated my
life to Christ. I was on my face sobbing the sinner's prayer.
I remember wondering if I had ever been saved in the first
place, but I knew I had. I had just never really lived my
life completely for Him."
"The past is sad to think about," Clay admits, "but
I do have a real joy now. I have a peace that I didn't have
before. I am really at a broken place, and that's a good
thing. My focus has certainly changed. I used to deal with
real issues of pride, and the whole industry thing was very
important to me. But that has all changed. I feel like God
has made me a little more lowly, but I feel His power in
my life like I never have before. I want His will in my life—in
my career and in my marriage. I feel such a freedom now.
Do I want to sell more records? Yeah. But is that why I'm
excited? No. I'm excited because I really have something
to say and I want people to hear it. The title of this album
even challenges me to continue to ask myself, 'Am I really
a different man?' I want to be able to say, 'Yeah, that's
me!'"
A Different Man introduces a Clay Crosse that we have never
seen before. There is certainly a depth to this project that
reaches into the soul of a man who has come full circle into
a new life of grace and mercy. His songwriting efforts have
grown by leaps and bounds, as showcased in his lyrical contributions
to nearly every song on this album.
Testimonial songs like "98," "Sinner's Prayer" and "Arms
of Jesus" are insights into Clay's journey out of defeat
and into hope. "98" is reflective of lessons learned
in that life-changing year. "I've been taught what's
right—the truth—all my life," Clay says. "I've
seen it lived out in front of me. But the days I'd really
lived it and really panted after God—those days were
rare. The lyrics to this song say, 'for all I've learned
the days I lived it were so rare / The dust of innocence
I scattered who knows where / And when I turned my back on
you, you stood right there / And you never left me.'"
"Arms of Jesus" is a poignant look at God's unfailing
mercy in the midst of our own failure. "I start climbing
mountains / To stand so tall / Thinking I belong there /
Above it all / And my pride gets the best of me / I stumble
on reality and fall / But when I fall / Let me fall / Into
the arms of Jesus." Clay explains, "There's such
a spirit running through this song. The interesting twist
is how it says I fell into the arms of Jesus. We usually
think of reaching up to Him, but this is about falling into
Jesus when I'm at my lowest place. It's not about Him always
being my safety net, but more about how I fall into His grace."
Clay reunited with long-time friend
and producer Regie Hamm on this new project. "Regie and I worked on the melodies
together, but my main involvement was with the lyrics," Clay
says. "Regie has blown me away with what he's done with
this album musically. I'm just thrilled with the marriage
of the music and the lyrics. I'm very proud of these songs."
With Regie at the production helm,
the songs on A Different Man truly do reflect a continuing
musical evolution for Clay Crosse that began on his last
full-length studio album, Stained Glass. Clay's soulful
voice is a perfect match to the more aggressive, grittier
sound that weaves itself throughout this album. Songs like "No Fear" (with a perfect
message for the millennium), "Til The End of the World" and "Memphis" feature
a musical edge that unveils stylistic inflections of pop,
R&B, world beat and Memphis rock. Creating a musical
balance, while adding to the album's diversity, are songs
like the uniquely crafted "What Would You Do for a King," the
heart-felt "Walk With Me," and the praise-oriented "More
Like You."
There is a rich texture to this new
album that is only the result of a changed heart, a changed
life and a changed man. "A
different man means someone who is seeking God wholeheartedly," Clay
says. "God's word to me has been to just let go of all
of these other distractions, and to follow him completely.
We have to take an aggressive stance and commit our lives
wholeheartedly to Christ. I want my daughters to have a good
life on this earth, but more importantly, I want them to
know how real Jesus is and how real God's love is. I want
it to be a part of our household. I want it to be manifested
into their daily lives."
"I thank God for the pain he brought me through and
for the realization of what I was, and now the realization
of what he has in store for me. My career is still important,
but it's not all consuming. Everything is different. I'm
not just touring anymore, I'm crusading. I'm so excited—not
because I have a new album, but because I have a lot to say."
"The book of Romans says, 'In
all things God works for the good of those who love him.'
I want to tell my story because I hope it will give others
the courage to change. They just need to let go of that
security they hold on to that's not founded in Christ.
I know that I am a different man now, and I want to encourage
others to be different, too."
|