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Home: K : Kendall
Payne : Biography
Biography (courtesy of Sparrow Records)
"I felt like God gave me a choice: Do you want to take
your bucket of water and pour it back into the ocean, or
do you want to take it to the people out in the desert? My
response was: I want to take my bucket of water to the people
who are dying of thirst—I want to give them hope. I
want to take my water to the desert." —Kendall
Payne
It's not a choice most people have
to make at the age of sixteen; but then again, most sixteen-year-olds
don't have multiple record companies simultaneously pursuing
them. There was something in Kendall Payne's bright, hopeful,
alternative brand of pop that caught the ear and touched
the souls of A&R reps at Christian and general market labels alike.
While Kendall's faith was explicit in her lyrics from the
beginning, it was delivered with an innocence and passion
that was ultimately inviting in a world where such things
are too often divisive. You might even say her ability to
blend common emotion, temporal experience, and ultimate truth
was a gift—a gift capable of carrying her through the
lines of doubt and resistance that hinder the attempts of
so many.
Now nineteen, Kendall Payne—recently described by
one critic as a one-woman Lilith Fair— explains her
eventual choice to sign with Capitol Records, not in terms
of potential popularity or potential sales, but rather in
terms of potential impact. "I grew up listening to Christian
music and I've always loved it," Kendall says. "I'm
definitely closer to the Lord because of it. But I was offered
an opportunity that a lot of Christian artists don't have,
an opportunity to take God's light right into some very dark
places. I had to seize the chance. I met with the people
at Sparrow at that time and told them 'I love you guys and
I love what you're doing but right now I think God is leading
me to be salt and light and I just need to go for it.' They
said, 'This is great, we bless you and support you in what
you're trying to do.'"
After Kendall's 1999 Capitol Records
debut, Jordan's Sister, was released and critically lauded,
the notion of releasing it jointly through Sparrow seemed
patently obvious. Kendall's lyrically driven, passionate,
thirteen song offering had struck a rare balance that hinged
on her own honest vulnerability and on her commitment to
speak the truth plainly, in love and with compassion. Produced
by Ron Aniello (Jude Cole)—with
the exception of two tracks produced by Glen Ballard (Alanis
Morrissette)—Jordan's Sister emerged as a suprisingly
introspective confession of faith.
"When I sit down to write a song," Kendall says, "I'm
not trying to write a hit and I'm not trying to write what
I think everyone else wants to hear. For me, the process
of writing is wrapped up in the challenge of coming before
God and saying, 'I'm here to be raw before You, and I'm here
for You to change me and use me.' I really think with all
my heart that lyrics and music are God given and that most
of the time we're just vessels through which they flow. That's
why I'm most effected by a song when the writer has the guts
to be real and honest. That quality touches me, and I hope
I can reach other people that way too."
The project's first single, "Modern Day Moses," combines
that sense of honesty with what Kendall describes as her
absolute core desire. Mixing acoustic underlayers with an
infectious, understated chorus, "Modern Day Moses" takes
snapshots of the lives of Moses, Mother Theresa, and Martin
Luther King, Jr., all individuals whose faith and obedience
changed the world around them. "My greatest fear," says
Kendall, "is a fear of having my life pass me by without
doing the things I was sent here to do. I believe God has
placed each of us here with a specific purpose, but so many
people walk through lives in a daze never knowing that. I
want to be faithful with what's set before me and make a
difference in the world. Right now, the doors that have opened
for me are through my music."
Kendall's sense of calling in her craft
was so pronounced that, even as a sixteen-year-old meeting
with record company executives, she developed a mission
statement to make sure there would be no misunderstandings
regarding her intent. "I
would sit down in their offices," Kendall remembers, "and
I would tell them: Being a teenager myself, I see firsthand
the power that music can have in a young person's life. It
is their anthem. It's what they live by and die for. To be
honest with you, there's no hope in the music today. I'm
all about hope! But the only hope that I have is in God.
I haven't always understood Him, but He's never left me and
He's never forsaken me. I'm not into beating people over
the head with a Bible. I'm just saying God is the only thing
I've found worth investing my heart into. Now let me sing
you my song … "
The song Kendall would sing for them, "Never Leave," was
the new-school equivalent of a soulful ballad. It was one
she had penned in the midst of life's difficult passages,
a recognition of God's faithfulness of even in the midst
of human doubt and duplicity. "Never Leave" ultimately
found its way onto Jordan's Sister because, as Kendall says, "Everyone—believers
and non-believers alike—just seemed to gravitate toward
it."
That same hope is expressed more aggressively
and pro-actively in the haunting, pounding, interwoven
groove of "Hollywood." ""Hollywood" is
about taking God's hope to the streets," Kendall explains. "It's
almost like a war cry for me. I wrote it on the top floor
of the Capitol Records building looking out at the HOLLYWOOD
sign and at the streets of Hollywood laid out in front of
me. I was watching all of the people and just thinking, 'Whoever
you are, whatever you came here looking for, it's the Truth
that will set you free, and if you listen, I'm going to tell
it to you! I'm going to share my hope.'"
Several of the songs on Jordan's Sister
enter directly into the struggles and sorrows of real individuals,
suffusing them with that same aura of eternal hope. "It's Not
The Time," for instance, with a feel of lilting gravity,
manages to sensitively chronicle the confusion of a woman
Kendall met who had suffered the emotional turmoil and haunting
aftermath of an abortion decision.
Another of the project's standout tracks, "Fatherless
At 14," was written as a simple, acoustic gift to a
young girl in Kendall's youth group shortly after the girl's
father had died unexpectedly. "I walked upstairs to
her bedroom just a few hours after his death," Kendall
remembers. "Her eyes welled up with tears and she came
and buried her head in my shoulder and stated sobbing and
she said, 'I'm not my daddy's princess anymore.' Of course
I just lost it too and I sat with her all night. A couple
of days later I was thinking about what her father would
want to say to her if he could. I wrote "Fatherless
At 14" and recorded the demo that same day. My A&R
director cried the first time he heard it. He decided it
should go on the album exactly the way it was, so we just
used the demo."
"Supermodels," at the other end of Kendall's lyrical
spectrum and arguably the quirkiest cut on Jordan's Sister,
has already achieved widespread notoriety as the theme song
for the WB Network series, Popular. "You look on magazines,
TV, anywhere," Kendall says, "and you see everyone
aspiring to be this waif-like, drop dead gorgeous supermodel.
It's just absurd. When you look at God's word, at His original
plan, he speaks of a woman of character, but we've got it
so backwards. Consequently, self-image is a struggle for
most girls. "Supermodels" is somewhat tongue-in-cheek
and I hope no one tries to interpret it too literally, but
at the same time I hope it brings some freedom to girls who
are frustrated by that pressure to measure up to something
so frivolous and unattainable."
The struggle to find out who you really
are on a deep, eternal level is named in the album's celebrative,
forward-leaning opener "Closer To Myself." Juxtaposing poetic image
with prayerful intensity, "Closer To Myself" becomes
a request for divine illumination to define the shape and
meaning of a person's life. "Ultimately, the only real
measuring stick for a Christian is the life of Christ," Kendall
says. "If it's not our own life we seek, we're told
in scripture that we'll lose it, but in giving it up for
His sake, we gain it eternally. When I sing about becoming
closer to myself, to who I really am, that really means becoming
something closer to Christ. It means being transformed to
his image. That's where you find your true life. That's where
you find what you're really made of and who you're created
to be."
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